


Leaves Us Broken

by WintersCurse



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: (But the Isle does it's healing thing), But they do have some cute moments, Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Isle of the Lost (Disney) is a Terrible Place, Past Child Abuse, Past Child Death, Scars, implied/referenced eating disorder, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:13:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22239187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersCurse/pseuds/WintersCurse
Summary: The Isle leaves a lot of scars that aren't going to be healing any time soon
Relationships: Mal/Evie/Carlos/Jay/Ben
Comments: 6
Kudos: 193





	Leaves Us Broken

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah tws for death/child death (both past), implied self harm, mentions of eating disorders, scars, past child abuse, and just general fucked up ness about the Isle. (if there's anything else you want me to tag I will)
> 
> Also I'm still working out how to format so bear with me

Jay tried so hard to forget the Isle- to forget the pain and the hunger and the uncertainty. He wasn’t on the Isle anymore. He was in Auradon. And Auradon didn’t tolerate the person the Isle had made him. 

Auradon demanded that he become someone else. A perfect prince in Jay’s body. 

So he pushed down the hurt and the anger and the overwhelming bitterness that was always there, right underneath his skin. 

Or, at least, he tried. 

His hair was well-combed, his clothes were clean, and when he caught his own eye in the mirror he knew he looked healthier than he ever had. 

His hand curled tighter around the necklace. He wasn’t sure whose it was, or how he’d got it. 

It would be worth so much, the small voice in his head said. Enough to make Jafar happy for an hour at least. 

He shook his head quickly. 

From the way Carlos flinched at the movement, the Isle still had a grip on him, too. 

“Sorry,” Carlos whispered when Jay turned to look at him. 

Jay shrugged. “You’re good, pup.” 

He shoved the necklace into the drawer with too many stolen items to count and pushed the beanie back down on his head. So much for today being good. 

“Chad pushed me,” Carlos said quietly. "In the lockers after Tourney." 

“He what.” 

Carlos flinched, pressing his face further into the pillow. 

“It’s not a big deal. It wasn’t hard, I don’t think he even meant to do it.” 

Jay fought to keep his face calm. “Give me one word. One word and I’ll make his life hell for you. He doesn’t get to hurt you, got me? He lays a hand on you again and he’s over.”

He nodded meekly. 

Taking a deep breath, Jay sat down on the bed next to his boyfriend. 

“You eaten today?” 

Carlos nodded again. 

Liar, Jay thought. But he didn’t press it. 

Mal had eaten. Mal always ate. Carlos hadn’t, he was certain of it. Evie, he wasn’t sure about, she’d been busy at lunch. He was willing to bet she hadn’t eaten, either. Unless someone was watching, she never did. 

So he sat quietly instead, picking at the too fluffy blanket. Everything was too bright and colourful here. 

Times like these made him wish they were still on the Isle. They were always too busy dealing with the next big problem to think about the last one. 

But at Auradon, everything had the chance to catch up on them. 

“Do you wanna go see Evie and Mal?” 

Carlos hesitated, then shook his head.

"What’s wrong, C?”

“Nothing,” he said. “Nothing’s wrong.” 

Again with the lies. 

“Carlos.” Jay tried not to feel hurt as he flinched away. “You don’t need to lie to me.” 

“I’m not. I’m just. Really tired.” 

Carlos looked up from the pillow for the first time that afternoon. His face was too pale, his eyes rimmed with red. The dark shadows that were always under his eyes were darker than usual. 

Jay reached for his boyfriend’s hand. The bandage almost completely hidden under his jacket sleeve came as no surprise, but Jay bit his lip anyway. 

The relief he felt when someone knocked on the door was probably concerning. 

“Come in,” he shouted. 

“I would,” drawled Mal. “But it’s locked.” 

Jay groaned, falling backwards on the bed. “Don’t you have some sorta magic for that.” 

“Not without 50 detentions I don’t.” 

Sighing, he pushed himself up to let Mal in. 

She looked about as impressed as she’d sounded, Evie close behind her with arms folded. Ben stood further back, wringing his hands awkwardly. 

“Is this gonna be an inquisition?” 

Mal shrugged. “Something like that.” 

He risked a glance over at Carlos. “Mal. Maybe not right now.” 

She fixed him with a hard look. “That’s why.” 

She shoved him lightly out of the way, storming towards the bed Carlos was curled up on. Evie offered only an apologetic shrug, and Ben somehow succeeded in looking more awkward. 

“You might as well come in,” Jay conceded. “But I refuse to be responsible for Mal, so that’s on you.” 

It took far too long for them to find the best way to sit. Jay refused to leave Carlos’ side, Ben kept trying to sit too far away, and Mal was thumping around the room. 

Eventually they settled down. Carlos was curled on his side, his head resting in Jay’s lap. Jay was almost certain that to an outside eye, Carlos just looked a bit sleepy and distracted. Mal, Evie, and Ben were sitting opposite them on Jay’s bed. Given how scrunched up the blanket was, Jay didn’t think it was very comfy. 

“So.” Mal said finally. “What’s wrong, C.” 

“Nothing,” he said quietly. 

“Carlos.” She sounded firm, but the look in her eyes was as worried as Mal ever let on. “I’m not an idiot, so don’t treat me like one. Something’s wrong, and you’re going to tell me what it is. Understood?” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said again, louder this time, but Jay could feel him shaking. 

Ben placed a hand on Mal’s knee, and smiled softly at Carlos. “If anyone’s giving you trouble-” 

“No,” Carlos cut him off. “Everything’s fine, really.” 

Jay ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, watching the other three carefully. 

“Carlos…” Evie said. “This isn’t the Isle. You don’t need to pretend to be ok.” 

He stared at her for a second, then pushed himself up. He was still shaking slightly, his legs tucked into his chest. 

“What day is it.” 

It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t a question at all. 

“Tuesday?” Evie asked. 

“Date. I mean date.” 

“Third of september,” Evie answered, confused. “But why does that-” 

She cut off and took a shaky breath. 

“Oh,” she whispered. “Oh.” 

Jay gripped Carlos’ hand tighter, as if it could shield him. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Ben looking around like something didn’t add up. 

“I don’t get it,” Ben said eventually. 

“It’s really not a big deal,” Carlos said. 

He was more confident now. Talking louder, sitting up straighter. 

But his shaking hand was clutching Jay’s so tightly. This was Carlos of the Isle talking. Faking confidence and nonchalance, wearing sneaky smiles and witty remarks while constantly looking for an escape. 

“Something’s wrong,” Ben continued. “I want to help. Is it to do with Auradon? Or is it some sort of tradition on the Isle?”

Carlos’ defences shattered. 

He curled in on himself, arms wrapped so tight around his knees. His breathing fast, his whole body shaking. Jay’s best guess was he was crying, but he couldn’t tell. Carlos has always been a silent crier. 

Ben looked at Mal for help, but Jay wasn’t paying too much attention to what was happening. 

“It’s late,” Jay finally said. “We should at least try to sleep.” 

Ben looked at him questioningly, and Jay nodded slightly. 

There was something about Ben that always made Jay want to laugh. Something about the way he stuck to the sides, always asking permission for every small thing. 

Jay threw one of the too-fluffy blankets at him, not even trying to be careful. “Course you can stay. You’re family now.” 

He tried not to feel warm at the way Ben beamed. 

It didn’t take long to throw all the pillows and blankets onto the floor in a space just large enough for the five of them. Ben was the only one really used to sleeping regularly in a bed. For the other four, sleeping on the floor was more familiar and comforting. 

It made it easier to cuddle, too. On the Isle it’d only been for warmth and safety, of course. And in Auradon, purely out of habit. It wasn’t out of affection, Jay regularly told himself. Because affection was dangerous, and getting attached to people even more so. 

But he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. 

They quickly got into their usual positions- Jay on the far left with Carlos tucked against him, Evie’s head against Carlos’ chest, and Mal wrapped around Evie. This time, though, Ben had been very awkwardly slotted between Evie and Mal. 

A part of Jay was curious to see how Ben would fare on the Isle. Probably not very well. 

Carlos seemed to fall asleep instantly, which Jay wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or not. Mal and Evie fell asleep not long after. 

Jay was left with making awkward eye contact with Ben for half an hour before he finally, gently, detangled himself from Carlos and motioned for Ben to follow. 

They sat crossed-legged on the bed, facing each other. 

Jay leaned back. “What’s up?” 

“How do you four sleep like that? I’m going to accidentally kick someone.” 

Jay laughed. “Go for it. You can’t be any worse than Evie.” 

“There is no way Evie kicks everyone,” Ben said. 

“Wanna bet?” 

“...no” 

“Good,” Jay said. “Coz she kicks up a real fuss. As in, leaves you with bruises for weeks kinda fuss.” 

Ben grimaced, and Jay had to laugh. 

“Do you sleep like that a lot?” Ben asked. 

Jay played with his rings, thinking. “During the last two winters, yeah. Gets pretty cold on the Isle. Even colder if you’re sleeping on the floor of some old warehouse.” 

“Wait. Why a warehouse?” 

Jay raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “You think any of our parents would be happy with some slumber party?” 

“Surely-”

“The answer to that is no,” Jay cut off. “Don’t get me wrong, half the purpose of the warehouse was so we didn’t have to spend the night with our parents, or out on the streets. And even if we wanted to, we couldn’t. I spent the night with Mal a couple of times when I had nowhere else to go. Only time I was caught, Maleficent started yelling that she was not running a charity. And damn is that lady scary enough when she’s not angry. Evie’s mum… well let’s just say if you’re not a prince with a massive castle, you’re not getting out of that house without some new scars. Dad didn’t want me in the house most of the time, let alone three others. And no way were any of us staying a night with Cruella.” 

Ben was silent for a second, visibly processing what had been said. 

Eventually he took a deep breath. “About Carlos. How did he manage to survive the Isle?” 

Jay sat up straight, trying his best not to glare at Ben. “What do you mean?” 

“From what I’ve heard of the Isle, it was awful. And no offence or anything, but Carlos is very soft and sensitive.” 

Jay took a deep breath and did his best not to punch something, or someone. 

That was the worst thing about Auradon. There was no room for mistakes, no room for emotion. There was only room for politeness and emptiness and pretence and good behaviour. 

A perfect prince in the shell of who Jay used to be. 

“You’ve only seen the Auradon version of Carlos. He was… different on the Isle. We all were.” 

Ben said nothing, just looked at him in that confused puppy way he was so good at. 

“Look,” Jay sighed. “On the Isle, there was never the chance to think things through. Too busy dealing with the next big problem to deal with the last one. But in Auradon, situations from the Isle have had the chance to catch up on us that they never had before. Plus, there are things about the Isle that we didn’t even realise are bad until we made it to Auradon.” 

He paused, pulling a face. “Ew that was a lot of soft emotions. You see that? Are you seeing what Auradon’s doing to me? I’m getting soft.” 

Ben offered a small laugh. “But the rest of you-” 

“Ben. The Isle was all kinds of fucked up. What me, Mal, and Evie have told you is nothing compared to the worst of what we’ve been through. And Carlos had it much worse. All of us have changed since the Isle, and all of us are neck deep in consequences. This time of year is particularly hard for Carlos, cut him some slack.” 

“Why’s it hard?” 

“Mate.” Jay gave him a warning glare. “Don’t ask questions when you really don’t want the answer.” 

“But I do want the answer,” he said with an earnesty that made Jay groan. “I want to help.” 

Jay shook his head. “There’s nothing you can do that’ll fix this.” 

“At least give me a bit of background knowledge so I know what’s going on.”

“Jay?” Carlos was untangling himself from Evie, glancing around the room.

“I’m here, pup.” 

“Ok,” Carlos took a deep breath. “Ok.” 

“Hi Carlos,” Ben said slowly. “What’s wrong?” 

Carlos chugged and sat down next to Jay, head resting on his shoulder and fingers playing with what looked like spare machine parts. 

“Carlos?” Ben asked again. 

Jay ground down on his teeth and tried his best not to outright glare at Ben, but hoped he got the message anyway. 

He really didn’t. 

“Carlos what’s wrong? Do you want me to get Fairy Godmother?” 

Jay pulled a face at him that he hoped conveyed the sheer “what the fuck are you crazy?” that he felt. 

Carlos just shook his head. 

“Ok, ok,” Ben continued, clearly brainstorming, ever the uniformed hero. “Do you need me to get you anything?” 

Carlos shook his head again. 

“Ben. Stop.” 

Evie was standing behind him now, hand gently on his shoulder. She looked half asleep, with blue hair curling around her ears and her neck. Jay could only hope she didn’t find a mirror soon. 

Ben paused, looking at Jay, Evie and Mal in turn. For someone from Auradon, he was deceptively good at hiding what he was thinking. 

Slowly, Ben turned back to Carlos. “I need to know why you’ve been skipping school. Both as your friend, and as the person responsible for bringing you to Auradon.” 

“Is that a threat?” Mal asked, voice cold but eyes flaming. 

Ben shook his head. “It’s not a threat. I don’t have the information I need to assess the situation, and I don’t know how to keep any adults off your back about it. If you tell me, they’re not going to know what it is, but I’ll have a better idea of how to calm them down. You are under no obligation to tell me, and nothing bad will happen if you do, but I’d like to help.” 

Jay kissed Carlos’ forehead softly, whispering as quietly as he could. “You don’t have to tell him shit.” 

Carlos nodded, then sat up perfectly straight. He moved quietly, so carefully and quietly. 

The way he did on the Isle. 

The way he did in Hell Hall. 

Slowly, so slowly, he took his shirt off. 

Even in all the time Jay’d known him, in all the years of not-quite-friendship and later dating, he’d never seen Carlos with his shirt fully off. 

He knew for a fact Mal and Evie hadn’t either, and Ben had gotten nowhere close. 

Carlos was always practically layered in shirts. Took one off and there were another three underneath. And under those was a singlet or crop top that he refused to take off. 

Not tonight. 

His chest, like his arms and legs, were covered in masses of overlapping scars. Large slash marks and tiny cigarette burns and faded scars and jagged blindingly white scars and fresh still red cuts. 

And overlapping, messy rings around where his heart was. 

Carlos took a shaky breath. “Fourth of September. Every year. Cruella lost her mind. I mean, she was always kinda…” 

“Batshit?” Jay offered. 

“Yeah, that. But the days leading up to the fourth it got taken to a whole new level.” 

“Every year,” Mal said slowly. “Every year you disappeared for a few days. And you never once thought to tell us this was why? I would’ve fucking killed her. No. Not killed her. Tortured her.” 

Evie slapped her hand over Mal’s mouth. 

She removed it straight away, though, pouting at the bite mark on her palm. 

Carlos shrugged slowly. “Every fourth of September she’d take out my heart. I… I don’t know why. But it’s… Not really something I wanted to talk about with people.” 

“No that’s. No,” Ben was doing his best not to look at the ring of scars. “That makes sense. I’m going to talk to Fairy Godmother about letting you have the rest of the week off, ok?” 

Carlos looked at him suspiciously, but stayed quiet. 

Jay had the feeling Carlos wouldn’t be talking for a while. 

Mal kissed Ben slowly to prevent him from saying anything more, then turned to Evie and kissed her softly. 

She kissed down Evie’s neck and arm slowly, before placing a quick gentle kiss on the fading bite mark. 

Jay raised an eyebrow. “As much as I would love to make out right now, I think it’s probably not the time.” 

Mal glanced at Evie disappointedly, then nodded, rising to make her way back to the pile of blankets on the floor. 

It was so hard to forget the Isle, Jay thought. 

It didn’t matter how far away from the Isle they got, it was in everything they did, everything they saw. 

Everything they were. 

There was the Isle in the scars on their skin that never faded. There was the Isle in the way Mal downed her food as quickly as she could, or in the way Evie avoided even mentions of it. There was the Isle in the way they all stood so no one’s back was unguarded. There was the Isle in the glares and the concealed tears and the hurried glances at mirrors and the pocketed jewelry and the headmistress’ office trips and the detentions and the fights and the flinches. 

But there was something about lying in the almost-dark, covered in blankets and wrapped around his friends, his partners, his family that made the Isle feel so far away, if only for a moment.


End file.
